Sometimes we just don’t understand

colleen Blog, Ministry 1 Comment

As I sat down to finish the teacher bible study for the lesson we’re teaching in Captivate Kids this morning, I also read over the kids lesson this week, which is taken from the Gospel Project for Kids and it really made me think about my life over the past few weeks and how God sometimes does things that we don’t understand.  As I read about Joseph being abandon, falsely accused, and sent to prison and then forgot about for two years, I was also reminded that God never forgot about him, but the even bigger lesson was Joseph didn’t necessarily understand why God was allowing these things to happen, but he didn’t need to understand because God continued to be faithful through every step.

Over the past week there have been some things that have happened in my life that I don’t necessarily understand, but I have been reminded that God is always faithful, that while I might not understand why certain things happen, I know that I am never alone and I don’t need to know every detail, God knows each detail and that’s what really matters.

One big way that I have been reminded of God’s faithfulness in circumstances we don’t understand began a little over a month ago when I met a sweet little boy and his family, I in true Ms. Colleen fashion began to ask about where they lived, what school he went too, and when I would see him at Kid’s Club, as I got to know the mom, she began to open up to me about her sweet little boy, and how he had some emotional issues and how she didn’t always know how to cope with them, this little boy was a target for bullies, and only came around a few times, but I continued to pursue his family, love his mom and encourage the little boy to come play on my block with some of my sweet kiddos. As my friend J began to come around I began to see what his mom was describing, it made me want to love this little boy even more. Well fast forward a few weeks and my sweet little friend couldn’t take it anymore, last Thursday evening I opened up my front door to find a sobbing mother, who didn’t want to talk details, but wanted me to know that her sweet son took his life that day. I spent a few minutes with her, told her I was sorry that I had been out all day and missed her the first few times she came over, gave her my cell phone number and told her I would check on her the next day.

The next day came and I went to visit her and see J’s little sister, and I found an empty home, my heart sunk, I half expected this to be the case, but prayed and hoped that I would be able to hug her in the morning, pray with her, and assure her that I would walk through this valley with her, knowing full well I couldn’t relate to what she was going through but trusting that God would give me the words and guide my interactions with her.  As my heart selfishly broke, because now not only was my new little friend J gone, but now his family was gone, I began to pray that if God wanted me to stay connected with Ms. D He would make it happen. Fast forward almost a week later and I got a text message from a random number today that said, “Hey Ms. Colene (I love how people spell my name) I just wanted you to know that my mother, “Jas” and I are doing fine. We r staying with a relative in DC and I went to church for the first time in almost 20 years on Sunday.”

You can probably only begin to imagine how quickly my fingers typed back to her, “I am so proud of you, I will continue to pray for your family and I will also continue to pray that you will allow Jesus to invade every part of your life, please let me know if you feel up to visitors sometime, I will gladly make the drive.” The response I got back two minutes later was, “We r planning to stay in this area and I am planning on continuing to attend church with my sister and I will let you know when I feel like visitors.”

As I sit here and type this tears well up in my eyes because last week I was angry and confused and didn’t understand why a sweet little boy would think life was too hard, and take his own life, and I wanted to know where his support group was, why weren’t there people in his life encouraging him and cheering him on. Nearly a week later, his mom texts me and tells me that she’s seeking Christ and I know that I don’t need to understand and I can continue to not understand because my God is so incredibly faithful.

I am leaning on the memory verse that the kids have been learning at Captivate over the last month, this week, and I am reminded in both subtle and non-subtle ways that my God is always faithful,Genesis 28:15 I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.

How is God working in your life to remind you of His faithfulness?

Comments 1

  1. Oh Colleen… I am so sorry for you and J’s family. Such a tragedy for a young boy to think life is no longer worth living… so so so sad. 🙁 You are all in my prayers. xo

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