Last week I had lots of dates, I had Brunch dates, Dunkin’ Donut dates, porch dates, cookie baking dates and “business meeting” dates, I got to spend lots of quality time with my kiddos. These dates whether dinner dates, brunch dates, hanging on the front porch dates or just talking dates are always thought provoking, sometimes heartbreaking and other times convicting, however I wouldn’t change them for the world. I love how my kids encourage and challenge me.
On Friday I took two little boys to the donut shop, if you knew these two little boys you’d understand why this was such a big deal, these two boys are little balls of fire, so full of energy alone and when you get them together it’s complete madness sometimes. So off we go the entire way there we talk about good manners and how when you’re in public you act like young men, and how we were going to use our indoor voices etc. etc. and I may have told them this was a trial run and there would be no more Ms. Colleen dates if they could not be nice young gentlemen!
Well I must admit I was a little surprised at just how good they were, and how engaging they were and how the conversations we had were not conversations I would have expected out of the two of them, one of them said to me, “Ms. Colleen why do you love me?” For a moment I thought about it and wondered why in the world they would even ask that, it comes naturally for me to love them, that the love I have for them comes from the love I have in my life from Jesus, that they deserve to be love and that loving them is easy, but how do you explain this to two 7 year old boys?
I looked at this little boy and I said why wouldn’t I love you? His response, “It’s just weird…” so I prod a little more, “Weird?” and he tells me that it’s weird that I do nice things for him, that I would take him to get doughnuts and that I like hanging out with him. I explained that I love him, and that I want to spend time with him, that I love when I get to go on dates with all of them, and that some of my favorite times of day are sitting on the porch while the kids climb all over me, the porch and play in front of my house. He smiled and said okay…and when I dropped him off after our Ms. Colleen date he gave me the BIGGEST unprompted hug EVER!
No less than 24 hours later I was having almost the exact conversation with another sweet kiddo of mine, and I explained again, that my love comes naturally, I love them just as God loves me, and that my favorite part of the day is playing with them.
These conversations made me think about my own life though, actually this will probably resonate with a lot of you, how many times do we come before God and ask, why do you love me? I am screwed up God how can you love me? I don’t know what I am doing or how I got here God so how can you love me? I don’t know about you but I am guilty, I am guilty of questioning God’s love for me… God loves us unconditionally no matter where we are, He loves us in our darkest moments, He loves us in our broken moments, and He even loves us when we are running the opposite direction. After having this epiphany of how I question other people’s love for me, including God’s love for me so often, I didn’t find it so odd that this sweet little boy of mine would question my love for him.
These kids don’t even know but sometimes through their questions and conversations they make me take a long hard at my life and how I am living my life, in this particular instance it made me think about how I question God’s love for me, and how I know that God loves me all the time and questioning His love for me is unnecessary. I am so thankful for moments like this when I am able to teach my kids about something but learn something about my life!
I leave you with this verse today, “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called Children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him,” 1 John 3:1 (ESV).
My prayer is that we would find so much comfort in God’s love that we wouldn’t need to question it, and that we would show God’s love so evident in our lives that others would ask questions about our lives and God’s love.