A sign hangs on my door that says, “No basketball or playing at Ms. Colleen’s house until further notice,” it’s incredibly quiet in my home and that makes me an unhappy person, however behind all this unhappiness is a WHOLE WHOLE WHOLE BUNCH of gratefulness, because you see friends, I am lucky to even be able to write this post right now! Last Wednesday morning I woke up in a funk, but I had managed to spend time in my devotions & praying and shook that feeling, I had planned my morning, exchanged a few text messages with friends and then out the door I went. I was so excited about my day, about the errands I had to run, about going to the gym, about having lunch at Panera with a friend and about Kids Club that night.
But things quickly changed for me that morning, I had run all my errands and was headed to the gym, when all of a sudden I’m opening my eyes and looking at shattered glass everywhere and my jeep is flipped, I remember looking around for someone familiar, and realizing that there was no one, I remember being held as I cried and shook, by a medic, and finally being pulled out of my jeep, I was able to stand but was shaky and immediately I was put into an ambulance to be checked out and then I was calling a friend to come pick me up.
Thankfully this friend didn’t take me home but she took me to the hospital to be checked out, and it’s a good thing she did because it turns out I am now recovering from a head injury, which who knows what kind of damage could have been done if I had not gone to the emergency room that day. For nearly eight hours I was sitting in a hospital, not allowed to sleep, crying, and asking God why? I know I have no business questioning why God allows things to happen in my life, I know that I should have been thanking God in that moment, that I was alive, that my bumps, bruises and cuts weren’t more serious, that I was able to walk, that I didn’t have any broken bones, and that I was most likely going to be going home that night.
I did get to go home that night, with only a concussion, and some bumps, bruises and cuts…and on Thursday when I woke up feeling a whole lot worse than I did when I went to bed the night before I remembered that I should be thankful I am alive. Later that day when I had to go and sign a release for my insurance company and I saw my car, I began to pray and thank God for the headaches and the sore body, and for sparring my life, because when I looked at my jeep, and heard the stories the witnesses told the police I realized I am blessed, I am blessed to be able to tell my story, that this is just another part of my testimony and how God continues to work in my life. The first few days after my accident it was hard to see God in the midst of all of it, I didn’t feel good, I was irritable, didn’t want to be still, didn’t want to not be playing with my kids, and didn’t want to have to rest for several days, which has now lead to a little over a week, when it’s all said and done, and even though it’s been hard some days to find the good amongst all the “chaos” of my accident, God has shown up in some pretty amazing ways, on Thursday after my accident my phone rang an unfamiliar number and it was the man who’s car mine hit when it flipped over, he was just calling to check on me, and tell me that he was praying for me.
A few days later I am reading my bible, and I come across this verse in Exodus 14:14, “The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still…” this week has been a week of stillness, quite literally, I wake up in the morning take a shower and lie in almost complete silence until I go to bed, having a few visitors, watching very little television, or computer time (this blog entry has taken me almost two days to write) and I have felt the presence of God all around me. I felt him fighting for me all week long.
So fast forward through the weekend, I had to see a neurologist on Monday and while I got mostly good news I was scared and worried, and still not sure how I should be feeling about everything, when I opened my email and found these verses, Romans 5:3-5 ” Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us,” I took some comfort in these verses and off to the doctor I went. Later that day I was encouraged by a complete stranger, I called Enterprise to tell them that I couldn’t pick up my rental until Saturday at the earliest and the guy began to ask questions about my accident when I told him that I flipped my car and had a head inury, he said “On Eastern…” and when I replied “Yes,” he said, “We rented a car to the guy whose car your car hit when it flipped, he told us he was so worried about the girl who was in the car and that he had called her on Thursday to check on her, but didn’t feel comfortable continuing to call me, but that he had been praying for me since last week and hoped that I would be okay wherever I was.” The enterprise guy then told me that he was a believer as well and after he had talked to the guy without even knowing who I was he too began to pray for me. It’s amazing how God shows up in the midst of your trials.
I have been loved this week, prayed for and encouraged in the most amazing ways, my friends, church family and people who I don’t even know have rallied around to make sure I am taken care of and that I am taking care of myself. I have watched God work in my life, and will continue to see Him work as I spend the next few weeks allowing my brain to completely heal, and remembering that God never leaves us…even in the midst of our troubled and confused times. I know that God sparred my life last week because He’s not done with me, I know that I am blessed and that when I am weak He is strong, and I will continue to take comfort in this verse, ” For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong,” (2 Corinthians 12:10 ESV)