I am so excited that God has allowed my life to be such a journey, one that I am continuously failing at, succeeding at, learning from, growing in and sharing with others. I feel like this post is going to bare some of my “baggage” but I’m really okay with it, because I know that God has given me great people to journey right along with me, as friends, prayer partners, family and supporters. So a little over a month ago I began to pray and ask God what He would do in my life with the last 100 days of 2012, on New Years Eve last year I didn’t make a resolution instead with two of my closest girlfriends we made an agreement that this would be the year we’d allow GREAT things to happen in our lives and we believed it! Well great things did happen in our lives, but also tragedy, heart ache, pain and grief also happened. A few months ago I was talking with one of those friends and it dawned on us that in the midst of the chaos we’d lost sight of the fact that God could and was doing great things in our lives.
I knew that by the end of September we’d be 100 days away from 01.01.2013 and I knew that I wanted to make some changes in my life, I was feeling convicted about some areas of my life, so 37 days ago I prayerfully committed myself to a 100 day challenge to a healthier, happier, me! Some of the things I vowed to do was take regular time outs for time with Jesus, I am happy to report that my quiet times have been more intimate, more fulfilling, more fruitful and more convicting, and I even find myself (like today for example) taking random Jesus time-outs, time that is just for Him and I, time that I can pray, listen to worship music, read scripture or even just talk a brisk walk and take in all of the beauty He has created around me. I vowed that in the last 100 days of 2012 I would work hard to lose 30 more pounds as of last week, I am 14 lbs away from that goal, along those same lines, I would make the gym a priority again, I have been going to the gym at least three times a week again and I have gotten into a routine with two trainers and I feel so much better…even more along those lines I have vowed that I would take 1 hour a day JUST FOR ME, this is probably the second hardest vow I made, but out of the past 37 days I’ve managed to take 34 hours just for me, to read, to watch an episode of my favorite shows, to enjoy a latte w/out working, to take a walk, grab dinner with a friend and not have to schedule it months in advance, window shop at the mall, ride my bike, to take a nap or to just sit alone by myself.
The other two major things that I vowed to do in the last 100 days of 2012 was to save $1 per day and at the end of the 100 days I would use that $100 to bless someone in my life unexpectedly I am so excited about this one, and I can say proudly I’ve saved $37 in my surprise blessings jar! The final thing I vowed to do is probably the hardest one for me, I tend to be a people hoarder, I hoard people. I hate letting go, I hate that feeling of disappointing someone, I hate the feeling of abandonment when someone exits my life…but a few months ago someone very wise in my life reminded me that we go through seasons of pruning, and that God removes the “junk” in our lives so that He can replace them with treasures…and within the last few weeks I have been working hard to allow God to prune my life, to de-clutter the junk so to speak. I’ve allowed unhealthy people to leave my life without fight, I’ve allowed people who don’t desire to be a part of the story God is writing for me in a positive manner to go away without a fight and I’ve allowed those people to be replaced with treasures that have come in the form of friends, prayer partners and special people in my life. I have to say that while watching people walk out of your life can be extremely painful, there’s also comfort found in knowing that I can continue to pray for them, that God grow and mold them, and that if God intends for those people to come back into my life at some point HE will be the one that makes it happen, I don’t have to fight for it.
I have to say that in the last 37 days I have learned so much about who I am, about the things I enjoy, I have learned about things God has for me that I didn’t take the time to listen and seek before, I have found that I am in a much happier place, I have found that I find more joy in finding God in the small and beautiful things in my life. I am more aware of how God is working in my life even when it seems like the wheels are spinning and there is no moving forward, backward or anyway… I am more thankful for the quiet moments, I am more thankful for the chaotic storms, and I am finding MORE JOY than EVER in my time with the kids…and ministry!
A few verses that I have taken great comfort in over the past 37 days and that I plan to continue to rest on for the next 63 days, include:
Exodus 14:14: “The Lord will fight for you, you only need to be silent.” -What a promise, and what truth there is behind these words, I am learning that sometimes when I need God to do big things in my life the best thing I can do is be silent and allow Him to go to Battle for Me.
Isaiah 41:13- “For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who says to you, ‘Fear not I am the one who helps you,'” – I’ve decided that I will allow God to take my hand I will allow Him to take away my fears about money, about losing people, about not being good enough, about not being skinny enough, pretty enough etc.
I challenge you to think about some ways that you can allow God to work in your life over the last 63 days of 2012, what are some of your convictions, what are you worried about, what can you hush about and let God fight for you? I’d love to hear some of your vows for the last 2 months of 2012. Thanks for praying with and supporting me on my journey, I’d love to know how I can pray for you on yours.