So this morning I opened up my email and today’s Proverbs 31 devotion was about Answer Envy, how we sometimes get jealous when other people around us are getting all of their prayers answered, prayer for Prince Charming, the perfect job, a baby, etc. and I sat there thinking to myself how true it is, that sometimes we forget about the blessings God is giving us during the waiting time, we’re too busy worrying about whether or not God’s going to answer our prayers.
I know that God blesses me, and answers my prayers, but sometimes there are big requests and I wonder if God has forgotten them, I mean who doesn’t think that sometimes? I try so hard to not think that way, but I think we’d all be lying if we said we never wonder if God is hearing us?
Fast forward to this morning, you see I watch this beautiful little girl Miss T (check out her mom’s blog) , and when I walked in I found an index card on the counter with some words written and highlighted! Rewind a couple of months ago, I decided that we should host a night of prayer at MetroKidz, a ministry I used to be involved with, and I encouraged each of my volunteers myself included to write a prayer on a note card, pray over it and then we’d put it in a basket and everyone would get one back at the end of night.
Well it just so happened that B (T’s daddy!) drew my card out of the basket, my card read “I am praying for peace, wisdom & direction in my life, I am ready to die to the world, and be filled to the brim with Jesus.” You see at that moment in my life I was feeling so unsettled, I knew God had big plans for me, but I wasn’t sure at that moment where I needed to be, I knew some changes were going to be happening in my life, but I had no idea what that even meant at the time, and I was having trouble shaking the doubt, the fear….I found myself being too busy for reading my bible, too busy for prayer and too busy for true Christian fellowship…
That night I sat in the sanctuary in tears, I wanted nothing more than to be filled with Jesus, I wanted wisdom, direction and peace about the things that were supposed to be happening in my life. I wanted to be excited about reading my bible again, I wanted to be dedicated to praying faithfully again (why is it so easy to get “busy” when we’re frustrated with life?), I wanted to know right then and there where God was going to lead me (Patience is NOT my virtue)!
It was a few weeks later that my world became turned upside down, I was no longer about of the ministry that was my life, the church I had become so fond of was not where I found myself on Sunday mornings…it was a decision I made after much time in prayer (months in fact), but it wasn’t easy, literally every day was a challenge, because all I could think about was what was going on around me, this decision came with a lot of hurt and heartache, but it also came with many new opportunities, the biggest opportunity was taking the month of April off with the blessings of my supporters, and spending time seeking God’s will for my life, spending time in prayer and fasting, taking a trip to N. Carolina to visit some dear friends, and be removed from the situation…it also provided me the opportunity to follow-up on two separate opportunities for ministry…fast forward to yesterday April 28, 2011, my biggest prayer was answered, in stages of course, a prayer of closure, the opportunity to love, forgive and move-on, followed by stage 2 the opportunity to sit and dream about what the future holds for me within the ministry…talking about my dreams….and dreaming REALLY big! It was such a day of answered prayer, so friends this morning I didn’t have to envious of huge answered prayers this morning because MINE was answered and B decided to leave me a subtle (my written request) reminder that God is bigger than I could ever imagine!