I love that the kids are a constant reminder of hope in my world.
I looked deep into his sad eyes and my heart broke for him, he couldn’t quite grasp why he was asked to leave early, I stood before him seeing the pain in his eyes and wanting to break before him and tell him it’s okay, but the reality is it’s not. The first rule we have on the rule chart the kids made is be respectful and we have a strike system and that night he was far beyond the strike system. His broken eyes are killing me; his argument about not understanding why I asked him to leave makes me want to hug him tight. I want him to know I understand, and he will but in that moment I knew that I needed to remain firm and gentle with him.
I know in his mind he doesn’t feel like he did anything wrong, I know what’s going on in his world; I know what he’s going home to at the end of the night. What breaks my heart even more is that I know that God is working in his heart and he wants to do the right thing, less than an hour before this he raised his hand and reviewed the entire story for last weeks lesson, I am so proud of him and I know he wants to be here.
This morning I was met with a completely different boy, I heard a faint knock on my door early this morning (so I knew it was a kid knock) this same boy stood on my front porch with his same sad eyes, but with a smile on his face and armed with an apology, he told me he realized he knew what he had done wrong. He also told me that as he left last night and I told him I loved him that he knew that I meant it and that he loved me too.
To a normal person an apology is not a big deal, to me and to the boy on the other side of that apology this is huge, the fact that less than a year ago I couldn’t communicate with this child in any manner good or bad, that less than a year ago I would have been concerned about being hit in the face with a door or kicked this is HUGE!
A few months ago I posted a blog about hope and how God had put the word hope in my heart and showed me so much hope, last night I realized that this might be the word God intends for me to meditate on for longer than the month. Because this morning as I stood on my front porch and hugged this sweet child of mine I realized that last night even in the midst of the chaos and having to explain myself over and over to him, there was hope happening, when he raised his hand and explained the entire lesson from the week before I was seeing hope, when he humbled himself to come and apologize and tell me he messed up I see hope.
My kids sometimes need to be reminded that there is hope for them and hope in them, I have been praying for this sweet kid all day, and this morning as I woke up before the sun rose, and I was exhausted but was still able to find the strength to worship and praise God I was praying for my kids, I was praying for more opportunities to remind them of the hope that they can find in Jesus, and the hope that I am able to find of them.
I am so excited for what’s to come in the future for our kids, as we are in the process of developing programs that will continue to hit home the message of hope for them. As we prepare for Kids Camp this afternoon I am praying for my kids that even if just for a brief moment today they will feel hope, they will see hope and they will know that there is hope for them.